Dear 20 year old me…

I’m in my 30’s, considered a responsible adult, married happily to the love of my life and about to buy our first house. Not even thinking about kids yet as I still feel I sometimes need mothering, myself!

When you look at photo’s of yourself as a teenager, the memories that resurface of your mindset, you didn’t care about a thing, did you? Don’t you wish we could go back to that for a few days? Zero responsibility…

So young and not a clue what lies ahead…

As I went through some of my possession’s the other day, shoes and jewellery, memories of my twenties flooded back to me and I was overcome by the overwhelming feeling of regret! There’s so much I could have done in my twenties if I had more sense!! Does everyone have regrets about how they spent theirs?
You won’t find me sobbing on a chaise lounge like 1940’s Hollywood drama queen about it but I think we do all feel it a little…

They (whoever “they” are) say that your life is made up of all the choices you’ve made in your life..I do LOVE my life now but there are some choices I would change if I went back… I wasted a lot of time with people I considered friends but were more damaging than encouraging…. some bad financial decisions but I really didn’t know who I was, everything is so confusing at that age, it would have been lovely to have a fairy godmother, nudging your in the right decision, showing you consequences of bad decisions…

I then took out my notebook and began to jot down some notes that I wish someone would have given me, but did any of us want to be told what to do at that age?

So I begin…

 Dear 20 year old me,

Your world is still beginning, it’s OK to not know who you are, yet! These are the times that you make all your bad decisions and learn from them, but now from a 32 year old’s eyes, I wanted to pass you on some advice that I wish you knew now…

STUDY HARD AND LEARN!  You can go to college at any age in your life but you give yourself so many more choices if you study while you’re young! Enjoy all the rag week’s and spring breaks, keg parties that you want but just study. In your late twenties, relationships get serious, jobs take all your time and it gets more difficult, not to mention being away from the love of your life, get it out of the way now and soar! It’ll be so much easier if you just knuckle down now!

TRAVEL! Travel as much as you can, get it out of your system, be smart, don’t make silly decisions and take care of yourself! Marriage will come in your late twenties and you’ll be saving and paying off loans, saving for mortgages and then kids might come some day… don’t regret it! Take that inter-rail trip, go Walk the Camino! You will make your dream come true and get to Los Angeles in a couple of years and you’ll go twice, you’ll work hard for it but like anything in life, you have to work hard. See as much as you can!!!!!
Party hard and get it out of your system, nobody tells you that as soon as you hit 30, staying up past midnight is really hard, your stamina subsides and drinking more than two glasses of wine kills your energy for days! Get it out of your system now!

SAVE! Be smart with your money, don’t spend it all the week you get paid, on shoes and clothes! You’ll have so many more options if you’re sensible and save your money! I know it sounds like a draggy thing to say but just do it! You’ll go through an economic depression from about 2009, taxes and charges will come from an ever penalising  cruel government and if you put some money away every day, it won’t hit you so hard! DON’T BUY A HOUSE UNTIL YOU’RE SETTLED! A housing crisis will come, house prices will also soar and people will have repossession’s, you won’t go through it thankfully, but be smart!

FRIENDS- Maturity will come and you’ll realise that the ‘friends’ you socialise with now are not your friends, make friends with people who make you feel good about yourself and don’t use you! they say people you meet at work and college are the friends you’ll have for life and that’s true, some of your bestest friends in later life will be the greatest people you will ever know. Always pick the friends who make you feel good! Break off ties with the ones that drag you down and start afresh as it’s the best thing you’ll ever do! You’ll know real friendship when you come across it!

FAMILY: I’m sorry to say that you will lose some of your greatest family members in your late 20’s, the ones who looked up to as a child. But no matter what,  your immediate family is always number one, spend as much time with them as you possibly can, don’t bicker! Stay close! The same goes for your future in-laws. Nobody will love you like family!

– Men: Ah Sarah, you will date some pretty unusual guys! But it will add to fond memories when you’re older! Nothing will beat your husband’s love, he will worship the ground you walk on, these guys are only providing memories!
Your heart will be broken, several times, it will hurt, oh boy will it hurt! You will just want to sit in your pyjama’s, eat Ben & Jerry’s and watch soppy movies but in a couple of months, you’ll laugh so hard about it! Everything in your teens and twenties is so dramatic but it’s really not the end of the world! Put on your favourite dress, put your smile on and get out for some fresh air!  Rest assured the right man for you WILL come along sooner than you think and he’ll be right under your nose the whole time, you’ll meet him, like him-love him, grow distant from him and date other men but then fate will push you two back together indefinitely!

-Age: Don’t be in such a rush to be older! when your thirties come, you will regret it! Revel in being a child (you are a child still n matter what you think) make those silly mistakes, wear that SPF though because skin changes happen very fast, you’ll notice it soon enough!
You have your whole life ahead of you!!

-Shoes: You’ll always be a shoe girl! Although you adore watching Sex & The City now, you will have Manolo’s one day, maybe for your wedding but wear the gorgeous shoes you have and don’t be saving them for good occasions, there’ll come a day in your 30’s you’ll still have a few unworn pairs that you treasured too much to wear and they’ll be unwearable, such a shame to waste them! Life is for living, wear those babies and feel like a million dollars!
DON’T waste money on cheap plastic shoes, their damaging effects will last for years and it’s not worth it!

Having that said, I am happy with my choices, they wouldn’t have led me to Ryan had I made different ones! We all look back and think we would have done differently… we wouldn’t be human!
And in the end, I guess, If it made you smile….don’t regret it!
Married to Ryan almost 5 years and still without a single argument


Are there any regret’s you guys have? I’d love to hear your comments and opinions below!!

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